I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly
I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:
Books I personally recommend:
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.
- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra
Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”
- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny
This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.
- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali
This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.
- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done
Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.
- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex
This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.
Books I can kind of recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino
This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”
- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English
Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.
- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera
I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.
Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.
May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.
I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.
Once you learn about emotional labour it’s painfully obvious when men offset it daily. Men mentioning something that needs done and then just fucking walking away. Men putting shit where it doesn’t go for no reason and then never putting it back. Men taking things out to use and then leaving the mess.
Abusive men pave the way for lazy men to get wives and girlfirends.
Lemme clarify, how many times have you heard your overworked female friends and relatives say “Yeah, Jerry drinks beer every evening after work while I cook dinner and clean up after everyone and does the bare minimum to help me raise the kids but he’s such a nice guy. He’s never beat me in my life. I couldn’t ask for a better guy in my life.”
Like no, Sally, your husband is a common stone among turds and you know it.
I try to explain this conceptually to people as a thing that happens not saying that this is good but it’s a thing that happens.
This is what male privilege is and how all men benefit from it.
This is why you are not exempt from statements about “all men” even if you are overall good.
You benefit from the bar constantly being lowered by systemic issues within the gender.
The expectations on you are always lower than they should because “at least you’re not X”.
That…is the best response I’ve seen to the “not all men” thing. Thank you.
This entity is not acknowledging any of you, for the most part, it’s just focusing on Fearne.
I just saw a story on AO3 tagged "pet p!ay"
TIK TOK MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE IT DESTROYS LANGUAGE
Ok, unless something's going on I'm not aware of (extremely likely), I gotta point out the term "Pet Play" is significantly older than Tik Tok, or most of its userbase for that matter.
Yeah, I'm not mad about using the term "pet play". That's a perfectly fine term. I'm mad because they didn't use that term: they used "pet p!ay", a censored version
Oh. Oh gawd I missed that. Objection withdrawn, that is objectively terrible.
To anybody who is new to posting on ao3, if you’re using a tag you have to use the correct spelling of that tag. People aren’t going to type in every version of a censored word to hide or look for your content 
For everyone new to tumblr, the same rule applies to tumblr too.
You cannot censor your tags! Censored tags cannot be block or filtered. Censoring tags HARMS your audience, it does not protect them
Also why? Like there’s no reason to
- You are not making money
- You will not being banned
For the record, shadow bans do seem to exist on Tiktok and they do take down your videos. So yeah basically Tiktokers are trained to censor everything possible, it’s not their fault Tiktok is trash.
[3.43 AM]
Bruce: *pulls off cowl*
Bruce: Tim.
Robin!Tim: *turns around slowly from the batchair*
Tim: Bruce.
Bruce: When’s the last time you got off from this chair?
Tim: When’s the last time you took a break from patrol because you got injured?
Bruce: When’s the last time you ate?
Tim: When’s the last time you slept?
Bruce: When’s the last time you drank a liquid that isn’t coffee?
Tim: When’s the last time you showered?
Bruce: When’s the last ti-
Alfred and Dick: . . .
tumblr: we shall turn the reblogs into comments! no more reblog chains!!
me: it will be up to the op of every post to comb through the reblogs on their posts and then edit the original with a chronological series of additions using polls to peer review each option before finalizing the post in its new form so that we can properly digest it and extract it's nutrients as natural intended
What
Her footsteps echo through the abandoned streets of the city, loud and heavy. I hear them through her. Together we scan the horizon, looking for targets - the fight isn’t finished. It never is.
We spot them at the same time; it’s been a long while since our senses merged. Our motions are as one, our vision is as one. We fire a volley of rockets. Our supply will last us a good long while.
Three targets hit.
Even before, I hated the term “pilot”. It didn’t feel right - not for the way we worked. If anything, she piloted me. She showed me how the world worked, and I worked us into it. She was my captain; and I her loyal knight.
They warned us about reaching terminus. When a pilot and their Hoplite unit became too closely linked, changes happened - changes outside of their control. They described it as the most painful thing ever, they said that once terminus is reached, pilots are no longer themselves but chaotic borg monsters, that they need to be destroyed. That’s why they insisted pilots be removed from active duty for months at a time.
I couldn’t stand to be away from her that long though. I changed up lists, traded places with my fellow pilots, broke into the masterfile of pilots and deleted my name from their system - all so I could spend a little more time with her. When I was with her, I felt free. I felt strong. I felt connected.
They must have lied about terminus, because it was the most beautiful thing we ever experienced. I took her signals and she took my blood, and as I felt her nanomass pierce my skin and merge with my bones I heard her mind closer than ever before. She took over the job of pumping oxygen to my brain so that her fluid could fill my lungs. Did you know that Hoplites have a heartbeat? I could feel it in my chest: a constant pulse of information from her core to her cockpit, strands of numbers which I could never have understood before, but now they pumped through my heart and spewed from my mouth.
Now they want to take that away. They want to sever our bond, return to the old ways. I am the pilot, she is the unit, that’s how things “should be”. So we run, we protect our beauty, we run and fight with the world on our heels.
I don’t remember what it was like to have a body of my own. I don’t want to.
bad news: my parole officer has informed me that "force femming a young pretty man after he suggested that me and my girlfriend turn our date into a threesome" is a violation of my parole and i will be taken into custody
good news: my two girlfriends will be present when my parole officer shows up at my house
What felony were you on parole for?
And how on Earth does that act not count for good behavior?
that's not important right now. what is important is that me and my three girlfriends need a place to lay low, just until the heat dies down
While you're laying low, perhaps your girlfriends could relax with some recreational drugs.
All four of them?
